Contemporary Literary Review India | Print ISSN 2250-3366 | Online ISSN 2394-6075 | Impact Factor 8.1458 | Vol. 9, No. 4: CLRI November 2022

Bella always cry

Usman Malik

Each face has a story. Everyone is hiding something under the surface of their heart, a heart that goes through so many emotions a day. Thousands of faces that are walking on the earth can tell thousands of stories. Out of those thousands of stories is a story that must be tell.

It was Sunday morning in the local city café, Jenna walked in along with her daughter Bella who was about 7 years old. Jenna searched for her close friend Emily who was sitting by the window table and was reading latest edition of women’s fashion magazine. She noticed Jenna before her and she raised her hand so she could spot. Jenna walked towards her, and let Bella sat first then she placed her hand bag on the side of table right next to Emily’s magazine.

“So... How she’s doing?” Emily asked.

Jenna instantly broke into tears and released the pain that she was holding for long. She hold her mouth so no one can notice her crying. Emily scolded her by rubbing her hand and gave tissue paper.

“Let me see that.”

“No. I got it” Jenna calmed herself and cleaned her cheeks and eyes, she took a deep breath and lift the veil of her heart.

“Having a kid is the most beautiful blessing in the whole world but having a kid who is sad and depressed is the most brutal. Emotion that a mother can go through. It is something that I can’t even fight. I have tried everything, bought lots of toys for her. Took holidays together. I mean me and Scott did everything to make her happy, but nothing. There’s nothing that works. And we have no idea what to do next? “

“Have the doctor had pointed out anything?”

“Just like the others. They run all the tests, he said she’s fine physically and… Mentally as well.”

“What?”

“He said she shows no signs of depression or anxiety, and there’s nothing that hurts her body either, lastly he said that it’s quite normal that parents arguments effect kids health which could be the reason of her situation, and we should focus on creating a positive and happy circle around her. And advised to spend more time together and to keep the arguments private.. Every psychiatrist that we have seen, all of them had said that same thing over and over again.”

“Look I have been doing some research about psychiatrists that deals with child depression. Last night I have read about this “Blue moon” hospital in Switzerland. This hospital is for children whom had experienced trauma, and who suffers from depression or mood disorders. And I also had chat with some of the parents and. Believe me some of them were as hopeless and helpless as much as you guys are right now. I already made an appointment of next Monday. Just don’t give up. Things will get better.”

“I’m tired of telling myself that every time we goes to the doctor. And I’m starting to think that what if doesn’t get better?”

“No it’s ridiculous. If there is a problem then there must be a solution too.”

“And what is that?”

“We don’t know that. For now you have to stay strong. Besides it’s not gonna help her if you give up. She needs you and David now, more then ever. All right” She holds Jenna by her hand, “we’ll see how this works out and.. even if it doesn’t then we’ll figure something out, for now let me get you a cup a coffee and vanilla ice cream for my angel.” She rubbed her head when she said while Bella was busy playing on Jenna’s phone.

They finished the coffee and Emily went to pick up her car, while Bella and Jenna were waiting for her on the sideway. While Jenna’s eyes were searching for Emily instead she noticed something on edge of her phone, as soon as she saw her crying she drops on her knees and hugs her as closely and as tenderly she could.

“Hey hey. It’s okay”

She hold her for a minute then she looked at her.

“Is it happening again?”

And Bella shook her head.

“What is it hon?”

Bell didn’t said a thing.

It’s going to be all right”. At that moment her heart was sparking the flames of agony, but the warmth of love that she was able to show was remarkable. And it did calm her, she wipes her face with tissue and, then she continued her game then Emily arrived and dropped them off at their house.

When Jenna was home, she noticed David’s coat at the hanger. She took Bella into her room and gave her homework. Then she entered into the living room, she saw David who was sleeping on the couch. He was still dressed in his office suit, and he was holding their vacation photo album. She tried to pick up the photo album carefully, but he was awoke now.

“Why are you up this early of the morning?” He asked whilst getting up.

“Good evening you as well.” She took the photo album and put it back in the cabinet.

“How long have you been home?”

“Just a sec. I sent Bella upstairs and thought about cooking dinner and then I saw you lying around. Why are you home this early?”

“I was thinking about you guys, and about the time that we spent in Italy.. So I came home for guys but nobody was here so I started looking at our album, her first birthday, her first steps in the garden. Remember when it happened... I mean I was so longing to capture that moment when it happened.”

“Yeah, I remember.”

Before that could come where David would become vulnerable she cut the tension in that very second.

“How about a coffee for now?”

“Yeah, why not. I’ll go fresh up.”

When David came Jenna was sitting on a coffee table.

“So what happened to the dinner plan?”

“No I order instead. I wasn’t in a mood to cook anymore.”

“Okay. So we could’ve dinner outside. I mean it’s been a long time since we had done anything like that.”

“Actually. I wanted to talk.”

Meanwhile Bella had finished her homework and she had always found coming down the stairs more difficult that going up. So her little steps were not making any noise. When she was on first step of the stair the conversation was quite clamouring.

“We can’t afford that.”

“You think I am not aware of that.”

“Are you? Really?”

“Dave, have you lost your mind?”

“I’m the one who Babe I want her to be happy too. We must understand that perhaps she’s not even sick.”

“What?”

“Look how many doctors we had seen in last months. Each of them told us the same thing, it could be possible that someone at school may have bullied her that teachers does not know about or she had seen something emotional on TV. Babe, I love her. You know that. I mean I love her so much. Couldn’t that be possible that both of us are wrong and they were right?”

The door bell ring, Jenna was motionless so David opened the door and their dinner had arrived. David set up the dinner table after paying the delivery guy. When Jenna came back from shower, David was adjusting her apron. The dinner table was delightful, the folded napkins and the scent candles had perfectly balanced the aura. They had dinner well and the conversations on the dinner table were quite lovable, there were no signs of expressions that was supposed to have based on the recent conversation exchange but after the dinner and when Bella was in her room sleeping. The fight for a happy family was ended and real faces were unveiled.

“All I want to say is that I am taking her to Swiss, and I won’t stop until I get to know the reason that why she always cries?”

She went to sleep. But David had had the disquiet sleep and he was awoke before the sun. They spent the most days in unrest and heart sick. On the Monday both of the couple flew to the Switzerland.

On Monday morning they reached at blue moon. It was a huge building surrounded by tress and wide orchard. They were welcomed by the assistant of Dr. Haider. They were told to wait in the lobby Hall, they had to wait for an hour before the assistant led them in. First she asked the parents to come and took Bella with her inside the activity room where there were lots things to keep her busy for awhile. Both entered in Dr. Haider's office and they realized that he was not as mature as they thought he would be. He was an Asian looking guy who was in his mid thirties and was definitely the youngest one they had approached.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning.”

“Please have a seat. I had looked at your file and… Before we began our procedure, I’d like to have few words with you. First tell me about the first time it happened.”

“Well it was her friend’s birthday party who was her classmate. And during the party we realized that we could not spot her in front of her friends anymore.”

“First we thought that she might have been in the bathroom. So Jenna told me that she’s unable locate Bella.”

“So James was searching in the bathroom and other rooms, and I came outside to find her, and I saw her by the oak tree in the garden. She was sitting under the tree and was constantly crying. I asked her about what happened but she was quiet.. Then I asked tried to get her up but she refused.

"Why she refused?"

"I don't know. When I asked her she said that she doesn't want to leave. I asked her "why?" She was not saying anything at all but she was just quiet most of the time."

"We thought that she might have fight with her friends. When I got there i picked her up in my arms and we head to our home."

"We were quite frightened that evening so I slept in her room with her and I was awake the whole trying to figure out what happened but in morning she was absolutely fine and she has no recall of what happened last yesterday."

"For couple of days she was normal like she used to be but. On one morning we were coming out of the theater and we stopped by the cafe to have a brunch. When we came out she started crying again and after lots of conclusive talking all she said was that 'nobody cares. Nobody loves them."

"We asked her who?"

"Then she pointed towards sidewalk and there was nothing."

"Was there anything particularly suspicious about that incident? I mean anything that makes you think that this or that might have made her act like that?"

"No actually there was nothing."

He stopped writing on the file and sat up straight and he did not said anything for a minute or two. After a dive from his analyzed thoughts he asked.

"How many times it had happened?"

"It use to happen once or twice in a month but lately it has been happening thrice or fourth a month and besides that she unusually quiet and depressed most of the time. She does not play with her friends as much as she use to and neither has she enjoyed the cartoons or games or any other activity."

"All right. Now I have to call Bella in. But…

I do want to clarify one thing certainly is that I might not be able comment on her ongoing situation right now. And the sessions could possibly extends to days or perhaps weeks. And I wanted to make sure that this is okay with you.”

“Yes doctor." They both agreed on it. Dr. Haider used to have sessions with Bella twice a day, one in the morning and one was between the afternoons. Jenna and David used to pick up Bella after the sessions. Two weeks had passed and now Dr. Haider called Jenna and David for the update. And they rushed into the hospital as soon as they got the message. For last two weeks they waited for that moment to come but it was a four minute driveway from their hotel to the hospital. And those four minutes were the longest time they had stuck in. The fight for hope was far greater than the fear of closure. Christine led them in right away when they were reached.

"On her first day we sent Bella along with other children as well into the garden. She was getting along very well with other children, but there was a moment when she left them and she head towards the flower garden in the backyard. She was looking at flowers and she was smiling. Not much but a little bit. I mean you could possibly say that she was happy. For a moment we thought that she has keeness for flowers. But we soon realized that it was not the flowers that she was looking at. There was bunch of butterflies circling around the flowers. She was looking at them and she was loving them but a moment later she became depressed. So she step forward she put her hand between those flower and she picked up a dead butterfly then put her into the corner of the garden, by the time she was in corner her cheeks were moist. And the next day she was quite normal, just playing around and wondering around. A couple of days ago when you dropped her in the morning. We took her into the garden for a test. We put some sugar under the oak tree in the garden and then we asked Christine to stand with Bella by the tree. By the time Bella and Christine came into the garden there were bunch of a ants eating out of the sugar. Then I ordered one of our guards to pass by the tree, he followed the instructions and walked right in front of Bella and Christine but he had stepped over the line of ants. And that's when Bella started crying."

"We had no idea. I mean we should've. The problem was right in front us and we didn't-" David expressed his guilt.

Jenna's face expressed the sorrow that she was living for long time. But she was relieved. Those same tears turned into the bliss and she said "thank you"

"So now she that has been treated. And she has not cried at all and now the treatment has been proved successful, she can go home."

They thanked him again and Bella was in her home. 4 months has been passed she had not cried once. She goes to school regularly and she plays with her friends and she enjoys the other activities as well. In the afternoon when she comes back from her school, she spent the most of the time in the small garden that was created in the backyard. Where some of the caterpillars and butterflies lives. Even if some of them passed away, she does not moan at them anymore because this time she was sure that they were cared and they were loved.

Usman Malik had dropped out of college recently, he was pursuing bachelor of arts. He spends most of his time reading, hanging out and working out.

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